


I Should Tell Him

by anyrei, mugglerock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 04, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, And We Play With How Fast That Happened, Bottom Dean Winchester, Canon Compliant Through Season Four Episode Two, Canon Universe, Castiel and Dean Winchester Falling in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dom/sub Undertones, Dream Sex, Especially Dean and Cas, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling in Love at the End of the World, First Kiss, First Time, If Season Four Went Down Like This, Inspired by a vivalski Comic, It Would Have Saved Us All a Lot of Bullshit, Love at First Sight, M/M, Prep Not Depicted (Not Really), Pseudo Somnophilia, Remember How Castiel Visited Dean's Dreams?, Season/Series 04, Sort Of, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Wall Sex, borderline dubious consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28011549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyrei/pseuds/anyrei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugglerock/pseuds/mugglerock
Summary: Castiel needs to speak with Dean Winchester, and the fact the human is asleep will not hinder him. No, what hinders him is the content of the dream.[Inspired by the vivalski Comic][Please don't patronize websites to read this when you can read it on Ao3 for free!]
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 337
Collections: The AnyRock Collection





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Any here: So this story is inspired by [this comic](https://anyreiart.tumblr.com/post/188007457326/sorry-but-i-just-loved-this-idea-cas-would-be) by [vivalski](https://vivalski.tumblr.com/) and it grew from there. It was so awesome to write season 4 Cas and I hope I did him justice. This was a lot of fun and I hope you guys liked it :D
> 
> Frankie here: Man, I'm so psyched we're finally posting this! And I truly think you nailed season four Cas, Any. Anyway, this was a really fun way to explore the dream walking concept while paying homage to the awesome comic by vivalski! We hope you guys like reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> P.S. As usual, major love, hugs, Misha and Cas cuddles and kisses to our phenomenal beta [tfw_cas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfw_cas)! <3<3<3<3
> 
> P.P.S. You can follow us on our joint tumblr [here](https://the-real-anyrock.tumblr.com/)! Or follow us on Twitter (anyrei | @anyrei) & (mugglerock | @_mugglerock)

**Chapter 1**

Castiel was restless. He needed to talk to Dean, but he wasn't sure where the Winchesters were at the moment, so he decided to visit Dean in his dream.

The moment he entered Dean's dream, he froze. Dean was naked on a bed, but the weird thing was the man didn’t appear to be surprised by Castiel’s presence. He reached up and pushed Castiel’s trench coat off of his shoulders before he started to unbutton his shirt. Castiel realized in that moment that Dean had been dreaming about him, and had replaced the dream image when he entered Dean's dream.

Dean flashed him a soft smile, his green eyes sparkling with mischief as he loosened Castiel's tie and playfully pulled it off. Castiel knew he should tell Dean that this wasn't technically a dream anymore.

But then Dean pushed his shirt from his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. He could feel Dean's heated breath against his neck. He should tell Dean. But then Castiel had never felt this way before. Loved, desired, wanted. It was all new. 

"I've missed you," Dean whispered before he pressed a kiss to Castiel's shoulder. "I hate that you always have to leave."

Castiel swallowed dryly and closed his eyes. "I apologize. I would stay if I could." And he meant it. He would rather spend his time on earth with Dean than his brethren in Heaven.

Dean hummed and lifted his hand to cup Castiel’s cheek. “Stupid real world obligations,” he murmured before he closed the distance between them, capturing Castiel’s lips in a kiss that spoke of desire and familiarity. This was not the first time Dean had dreamed such things.

But for Castiel, this was definitely the first time he felt Dean's lips against his own. It made his heart stumble, and he gasped in surprise when Dean pulled him down on the bed. "Dean," he whispered. He wanted to say something, he knew he should, but no more words followed his name.

“Love the way you say my name,” Dean purred as he started pressing hungry kisses down his throat.

Castiel gasped, turning his head so Dean could reach more of his throat. "Dean," he said again. This time it came out broken and soft. Castiel felt so confused about the situation. He had never felt this way before. Dean elicited feelings that were exciting and warm. And it was incredibly addictive.

The rumble of Dean’s laugh against his skin was intoxicating. “Yeah, Cas.”

Castiel couldn’t remember hearing Dean laugh like that before. It was beautiful. He carefully reached out to touch Dean’s cheek. “It’s nice to see you happy,” he murmured. 

Dean playfully bit at Castiel’s thumb. “You make me happy, angel.”

Castiel tilted his head slightly, watching him in fascination. "How?" he asked quietly, because he suddenly realized that was what he wanted to do. Not only in a dream, but in reality too. He wanted to make Dean happy.

“You want an itemized list? Or do you wanna keep making out?” Dean practically growled as he drew him in for a hungry kiss.

Castiel wanted the list, but kissing Dean quickly distracted him from that thought. He wrapped his arms around him to hold Dean close as he returned the kisses with fervor. He never wanted to stop.

Dean drew back, chest slightly heaving as he tried to catch his breath. “Want me to ride you?” he murmured as he started trailing kisses along Castiel’s jaw. One hand found its way to Castiel’s groin, cupping his erection.

Castiel wasn't sure what Dean meant by riding him, but the few coherent thoughts he was still capable of told him that it was sex related. He didn't have much experience, especially not first hand, so he just nodded with a groan, hoping Dean would guide him, or show him what he wanted. 

That was met with a smirk as he pushed Castiel onto his back, divesting him of the rest of his clothes before he grabbed an item from the nightstand drawer. Dean waggled his eyebrows before he revealed a purple tube and popped its cap. He poured the contents onto his fingers. Dean reached behind himself and then his eyes screwed shut as he let out a soft moan, hips undulating slightly.

Castiel watched him with wide eyes. It took him way too long to understand what Dean was doing. When he did, his fingers twitched with the urge to help. On the other side watching Dean, preparing himself for him… was incredibly arousing. He reached out, his fingertips ghosting over Dean's chest, the spattering of freckles before he touched his right nipple, experimentally rubbing his index finger over it.

Dean let out an almost whimper. “Fuck… yeah…”

Encouraged by Dean's reaction, his other hand teased Dean's left side, palms sliding over his muscles and shoulder before he found his way back to Dean’s other nipple. Dean made the most enticing noises. 

Without missing a beat, Dean’s other hand slipped to Castiel’s erection, coating him in the lubrication. “I’m almost ready…”

Castiel groaned and bit down on his lower lip. This felt so very overwhelming. "Dean," he breathed out. "Please." At this point he needed to feel Dean. Although he knew he was taking something he had no permission to take,

Dean nodded as he shifted and moved to straddle Castiel’s waist. He gripped Castiel’s cock and flashed him a heated look as he sank down. Suddenly Castiel was surrounded by the most pleasurable heat.

"Ohh, Dean," Castiel moaned, his hands coming up to Dean's sides to hold him. He hadn't expected the overwhelming feeling to become even more overwhelming. He was at a loss for words, thoughts, and what to do as he stared up at Dean in awe.

Dean’s bottom lip was trapped between his teeth, eyes closed, face graced by pleasure. The heated redness in his cheeks brought his freckles out. Dean was beautiful. When he opened his eyes, he chuckled as he looked down at Castiel. Then a soft moan escaped as he fully seated himself on Castiel’s erection. “Mmmm… feels  _ really _ good this time…”

That confirmed his assumption that this wasn’t Dean’s first sex dream about him. He wondered if it meant something. A part of him hoped it did. Sharing this intimacy with Dean, now that he knew how it felt… he didn’t want to give up on it. “Dean,” he groaned as he grabbed his hips harder. “Please move.”

Dean nodded as he braced his palms on Castiel’s stomach and started moving his hips in a most delicious back and forth. Dean’s lips were parted as the sexiest sounds slipped past them. “Fuck, Cas…”

It was the first time he’d had sex, and although he had heard a lot about it, and had seen people doing it, he had not anticipated how it would feel. He couldn't think anymore, his control slipped completely and his instincts took over. His hips moved on their own as he thrusted up into Dean. He wasn't used to feeling pleasure. It was too much, and at the same time, not enough. His mind drowned in a whirlpool of maddening pleasure, and all he could do was writhe under Dean, moaning his name.

Dean gasped and started riding Castiel faster, a little harder. “Goddamn, Cas…”

"Dean!" Castiel cried out, holding back his orgasm with all the willpower he had. "I'm close. You feel so good."   
  


“Yeah, baby. Come in me.”

He had no idea where the growl came from, but it was an instinctual response to Dean's words. Castiel grasped Dean's erection and started to stroke him, needing him to come first.

Dean let out an unadulterated moan as he continued to frantically ride him. “Yes, yes…”

"Dean, I need you to come. I want to feel it," Castiel moaned out, feeling like he was turning crazy with the lust and pleasure he was feeling.

Dean nodded. “I’m so close…”

Castiel stroked him quicker, his other hand reaching forward to tease Dean's balls. He may not have known much about sex, but he knew human anatomy, and location of all the nerve endings that were especially sensitive to touch.

That was met with an almost whimper as Dean’s hips started shifting erratically before finally they stilled, and he came over Castiel’s hand. “Oh, fuck…”

The way Dean tightened around Castiel’s erection pushed him into his own orgasm. A feeling that he hadn't anticipated being so strong, he nearly lost his grip on Dean's dream. "Dean," he whispered in awe, breathing hard as he looked up at him.

Dean let out a breathy laugh before he leaned forward, draping himself across Castiel’s torso and capturing his lips in a kiss. “I love you, too, Cas.”

His heart ached hearing those words. He knew he wasn’t meant to hear them. He carded his fingers through Dean’s hair when he was pushed out of the dream. Dean had woken up.

Castiel was back in Heaven and his heart was beating fast from what he had just experienced. He didn't know what to do with this information. He only knew one thing. He wanted to feel loved by Dean again. He wanted to feel this for real.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It had been the fifth night in a row Dean hadn’t dreamed of Hell. Flashes of the horrific imagery he had been convinced he would never escape. Not only the thirty years of absolute agony he’d suffered at the hands of that sadistic freakshow, Alastair, but his own guilt-ridden grip on the proverbial handle. 

Dean had always wondered if picking up a trade, like getting an actual degree in automotive maintenance, or whatever fancy term they used these days for being a mechanic… would get him out of the life, would give him a sense of purpose. He hated how good he was at torturing the poor bastards he ripped to pieces. 

And then it wasn’t his life anymore. The angel, who had invaded Dean’s dreams a couple days after that night in the barn… Dean was torn between grateful, and full-blown freaked out. Grateful for the intensely more pleasurable distraction, but also freaked out by the fact that there was a lot of gay sex deep in Dean’s subconscious, apparently.

_ A lot. _

The fucked up part was, Dean wasn’t the friggin’ giver, apparently. A couple of headlights flashed past the shitty motel room window, and suddenly said angel from his dream was sitting on the edge of the bed. Dean startled and refrained from clutching his chest like some southern belle. “Jesus, Cas!” he whispered.

Cas turned to look at him, his expression void of any emotion. Completely the opposite of what he had seen in his dream. "Hello, Dean," the angel greeted, "what were  _ you  _ dreaming about?"

Goddamn, he hoped angels couldn’t read thoughts, as flashes of that face contorted in pleasure filled his mindseye. “ What, do you get your freak on by watching other people sleep? What do you want?” he deflected.

Cas's expression didn't change, he didn't even blink. "My... freak on?"

Dean rolled his eyes as he sat up. “What do you want?” he repeated in an exasperated tone. One he hoped went in the complete opposite direction of the weird sensation in his stomach at the timbre of the angel’s voice.

"I need you." Cas leaned closer and reached out to his forehead. "To see this." 

The moment he felt Cas's fingers on his forehead everything around him shifted, and he was in an abandoned warehouse. Cas was standing next to him, his trench coat billowing for a moment before it settled down. 

The warehouse was dark, but that didn't stop Dean from seeing what Cas wanted him to see. There was a dead woman leaning against the wall. Huge dark wings burned into the wall behind her.

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Dude…”

"She was an angel. Someone killed her," Cas growled before he turned to stare at him. "I need your help."

“You need…  _ my  _ help.” Maybe he was still dreaming. Maybe any minute now, Cas would start taking off his clothes.

Cas simply nodded though, before he walked up to the dead angel. He pointed to her chest and Dean could see she was stabbed multiple times. "She was stabbed, but not with an angel blade. The intrusion marks are too big."

“What’s bigger than an angel blade that could actually hurt you?” Dean drew closer, grateful for the distraction from his inappropriate thoughts. 

"There are other angelic weapons." Cas looked up at the ceiling for a moment before he added, "Lucifer's sword. I'm afraid the demons found it and are trying to break another seal."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Was this angel in the way of a seal?”

Cas shook his head and looked down at the ground. "Seven angels, for every day, each one must be slain by Lucifer's sword to break the seal." Cas looked up at him and stepped closer to Dean, right into his personal space, before he added, "I'm the angel of Thursday."

“What was she the angel of?” Dean hated how much he didn’t care until the reality was Cas could very likely be next.

"Tuesday. I couldn't find the angel of Monday. I'm assuming he is already dead." Cas tilted his head to look at him. "Will you help me?"

While he still knew he probably shouldn’t trust angels, Cas was… different. Maybe it was ‘cause he risked his hide to pull Dean from the pit. “Sure.” There was almost no hesitation.

He could be wrong, but it almost looked like Cas was relieved when he heard his answer. It was hard to tell though, because the change on his face was minuscule at best. “I have a theory that another angel might be involved in this. A traitor. You’re the only one I can trust.”

“So, you thinking we should set a trap? Try to draw the traitor out?”

Cas nodded mutely before he turned around and looked at the ceiling again. "No one knows I'm here... talking to you. The element of surprise would be on our side." He turned around again. "And other angels have a tendency to..." He tilted his head and looked like he was searching for a word in his mind. "Underestimate you."

Dean scoffed as he folded his arms over his chest. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

Cas kept staring at him and it quickly became unnerving, especially with him standing so close. Finally, he said, "It's our advantage in this case."

Dean cleared his throat and took a step back. Of course the bastard smelled good too. “So, uh… what’s the plan?”

"Uriel… you've met him. He is the angel of Wednesday. I think we should find a safe place and go there with him. He is a good soldier. Maybe he knows how we can lure the traitor to this place," Cas suggested, stepping closer to Dean.

Dean did what he could to keep his expression neutral, but he was pretty sure his displeasure was showing. That Uriel guy was a dick. “Bobby’s, uh… he’s got a panic room. Probably no safer place.”

Cas stepped closer, his voice dropping even lower than usual, "Yes, that sounds like a good plan."

For half a breath, Dean found himself mesmerized by an intensity in that pale blue gaze. And then Cas looked up at the ceiling again with a frown. "I'll look for him and I'll meet you there."

Dean grabbed him by the forearm. “Whoa, slow your roll. We’ve gotta ask Bobby if he’s okay with it first.”

Cas tilted his head and aimed his frown at Dean. "I thought Bobby was a hunter dedicated to stopping the apocalypse. Why wouldn't he be… 'okay' with this?"

“Dude, humans have this thing called etiquette,” he said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “And do you really think it’s a good idea for the next two targets to be flying around together?”

He was getting better at reading Cas's expressions. The angel looked like he had gotten maybe half of what Dean said. "You have a point. Maybe you could pray to him, once we're settled in and have Bobby's blessing."

Dean nodded. “Alright, take me back to my room. I’ll set an alarm for five.”

"Why can't we go now?" Cas asked with another head tilt.

Dean took a calming breath. “Other than the fact that I haven’t even had coffee. It is two in the goddamn morning. Bobby’ll shoot us on sight if we show up to his place any earlier than eight am.”

Cas stared at him for a few seconds before he nodded and touched his forehead. They were back in Dean's motel room, and Cas sat down on the edge of the bed again. “I’ll just watch over you then.”

That was the last goddamn thing Dean needed. The subject of his friggin’ sex dreams watching him dream about having sex with him… The whole thing hurt his head. But it wasn’t like he should just kick the guy out. Not with a target on his back. “Maybe watch the TV. It’ll be more entertaining.”

“I don’t require entertainment, Dean.” He raised his brow before he grabbed Dean’s duffel bag and looked inside, obviously interested in its contents.

Dean snatched the bag back from him. “The hell could you possibly be looking for?”

Cas's eyes widened and  _ fuck...  _ Sammy's puppy eyes were a laughing stock against this. Cas cleared his throat and looked away then. "I apologize. I was merely curious."

“Again, ask first,” Dean said with a sigh as he dropped his duffel to the floor and got into his bed. He grabbed the blanket and drew it over himself as he turned away from the curious angel.

"Dean, can I look through your bag?" Cas suddenly asked.

“Why?” The last thing he needed was Cas finding his… newly acquired purchases. Especially considering the dreams he’d been having.

"I'm interested in... human things," Cas replied. The pause was weird. Like he had wanted to say something different and changed his mind.

Dean narrowed his eyes at him. “No. Leave my stuff alone.”

And there were the puppy eyes again. Cas took in a deep breath before he nodded. "Alright."

With an annoyed sigh, he grabbed Sam’s backpack and tossed it to Cas. “There. Look through Sam’s crap.”

Cas tilted his head again. "So, I don't need to ask Sam? Where is your brother, anyway?"

Dean furrowed his brow as he looked around. “Good question,” he said, now throwing his legs over his bed. Sam wasn’t the type to just duck out. Of course, Cas  _ had  _ temporarily kidnapped Dean. He grabbed his phone, but there were no missed calls…

_ Weird.  _ He got up with a sigh and grabbed his jacket.

Cas looked up from Sam's opened backpack. The guy didn’t waste any time. "Where are you going?"

“Finding my brother,” he clipped as he grabbed his keys and opened the door. 

"I'll go with you," Cas replied, swiftly pushing Sam's bag to the side.

Dean raised his hand and halted him at his chest. He quickly retracted his hand. “You probably shouldn’t be dangling yourself out there.”

"You want me to wait here all by myself?" Cas asked, sounding confused.

_ Well, shit.  _ When he put it like that. “Fine,” Dean grumbled as he waved for Cas to follow.

Cas didn’t hesitate, waiting until they were outside before he fixed Dean with a curious look. "Is it unusual for Sam to leave the room during the night?"

Dean nodded as he looked around. Baby was still outside. That was a good sign. “Yeah, I’m the night owl.”

Cas appeared thoughtful before he stared at Dean again. "He was never there when I visited you at night over the past few weeks."

Dean furrowed his brow. There were a lot of questions he had, but mostly, “How often have you been creepin’ on us while we slept?”

"I check on you every time my schedule allows it. You're my charge," Cas stated like it was the most normal thing in the world, and  _ clearly  _ Dean should have known that.

“And none of that registers as creepy to you?” Dean asked as he nodded for the angel to follow him to the pool area. Maybe Sammy was taking a dip?

Cas tilted his head. "I'm only doing what I was told to do. You're an important asset in this war. We can't afford to lose you."

“Yeah, and why is that? You keep telling me I’m important, but you aren’t telling me  _ why.”  _ Dean narrowed his eyes at the guy. Trying to read his stupid, handsome face. 

Cas stared at him for a long moment, in a way that made it painfully clear that he wasn't human. "I'm not omniscient. I only know what I need to know to fulfill my mission."

Dean scoffed. “And that doesn’t strike you as odd?”

Cas frowned deeply. "It has always been this way."

It sounded like a bunch of bullshit to Dean, but who was he to judge? “So, what’s your mission?”

"To protect you at all costs," Cas replied without hesitation.

After seeing the pool empty, save for some couple tongue wrestling in the hottub, Dean pulled out his phone and started calling Sammy. He probably should’ve called him in the first place. Dean waved for Cas to follow him back toward Baby. “Because I’m important?”

"You're the Righteous Man," Cas replied cryptically. "I saved you from Hell with an army of angels."

Dean shook his head, refraining from growling at the lack of answer from his brother. He hung up and dialed again. “But what does that  _ mean?  _ The Righteous Man?”

"It means you're destined to stop the apocalypse," Cas replied, although his attention was on Dean's car now. His hand stroked over the roof of Baby with a curious expression.

“How, though?” Dean asked as he unlocked his girl and draped his arm on her roof across from Cas.

And suddenly, Cas reached his warm and strong hand over and grasped Dean's. He stared at him with earnest blue eyes before he said, "I would tell you if I knew. But I saw your soul, Dean. You are special."

Dean cleared his throat as he drew his hand back. It sent a shiver down his spine, similar to those damn sex dreams. “You, uh… you can’t sense Sammy, by any chance?” Subject change was way overdue.

Cas tilted his head. "Sam stopped praying to angels a few weeks ago. I am... concerned."

That added up. He’d noticed there was something off about Sammy around the same time. There was no way that was a coincidence. Dean furrowed his brow. “Well, how do you locate me? Can you do that with him?”

Cas shook his head. "You and I share a more profound bond." He rounded the car to walk straight into his personal space. "But if he is in the vicinity, I can use a tracking incantation."

“Uh, alright,” Dean said as he gently pushed Cas away. “Dude. Personal space.”

Cas appeared confused before he looked down at the ground. "I apologize," he murmured, "I need a silver bowl, myrrh, and your blood."

“Where the hell are…” 

Before he could finish the sentence, the angel was gone. Only a whirlwind of dry leaves stayed behind. Dean looked around when he suddenly heard the familiar flapping of wings. Cas stood directly behind him. "I’ve gathered everything, except for your blood."

“Dude!” Dean shoved at Cas’s shoulder. “I’m gonna be no goddamn use to you guys if I die of a heart attack.”

The guy was unmovable as a rock. He just tilted his head. "I apologize." It really didn't sound like he meant it. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Well, if you’re gonna make me bleed, let’s do it inside.”

Cas nodded and followed him back to the motel room, placing the bowl on the table and dropping the green stuff inside it. He reached out without warning and grabbed Dean’s arm, pulling his hand over the bowl, and the cut into his palm with an angel blade was sudden.

The sting of the cut was just as unexpected, and Dean tried to yank his hand back. “Warn a guy!”

Cas just gave him an unsympathetic look as he held his hand in an iron tight grip over the bowl, forcing Dean’s blood to drip into it. Then he did something that surprised him. He rubbed his thumb gently over the cut and healed it, all while staring into his eyes. “Better?”

That was even more intrusive than the guy helping himself to Dean’s blood. “Uh… yeah.”

“Your heart rate just spiked,” Cas stated, still not releasing his wrist.

Dean shook Cas off. “You just cut my hand. Of course it spiked.” 

Cas just stared at him before he squinted his eyes. He then turned to hold one hand over the bowl. When his hand started to glow, Cas recited something in a weird, dark sounding language. Suddenly, Cas gasped and held his forehead like he was in pain. It was the first human reaction Dean had seen. 

“I found him,” Cas breathed out.

“Is he okay?” The urge to comfort the angel was overwhelming. Inappropriate as it was sudden. Dean blamed the dreams.

Cas rubbed his head with a groan and nodded. "As far as I can tell, he is in another motel room with a woman. I couldn't see her face."

Dean furrowed his brow. “Why can’t you see her face? And which motel?”

Cas groaned and suddenly sank to his knees, still holding his head. 

Dean was instantly at his side. “Cas? What’s happening?”

"The room is warded against angels. Someone didn't want me to see," Cas replied huskily.

That was weird. A booty call was one thing, but this? “Where?”

"All Stars Motel, at the other end of the town. Room six," Cas replied, still rubbing his forehead.

Dean nodded. “You up for coming with me? Or is it safer you stay put?”

Cas groaned again as he pushed himself up from the ground. "I'm coming with you. If this room is warded against angels, you might be in danger."

He refrained from pointing out Cas wouldn’t be any use to him if it was warded against him. Dean steadied the angel. “Alright. I’m driving.”

"I've never been in an automobile before," Cas replied. His weight was heavy against him for a brief moment before he seemed to get better, and stood up straight again. "I'm fine."

Dean nodded, ignoring the pangs of familiarity their closeness evoked. “Well, driving is safer than flying if you ask me.”

"I would never let anything happen to you if you flew with me," Cas replied in an earnest voice.

Weirdly enough, he believed the guy. “Well, I won’t let anything happen to you in my car either.”

Cas stared at him, there was the faintest hint of a smile. "That's good to know."

Dean really needed to stop making eye contact with the guy. “Uh, yeah.”

Why was he still looking at those crazy blue eyes? The faint smile on those way too sexy lips was also very distracting. Cas stepped closer, his voice dropping deeper. "You should take the demon killing knife with you. Just in case."

Dean nodded mutely and licked his too dry lips. “Uh… yeah.” He started digging through his duffel. Dean knew he put it in the side pocket before he knocked out. He dragged his hand along the seam three times before he accepted it was gone. “Son of a bitch.”

"What is it?" Cas asked, way too close behind him.

“It’s gone.” And the only reason it could be gone was if Sammy took it. And that spelled all kinds of bad. His brother and the demon blade were missing. He looked at Cas. “You up to flying us?”

Cas massaged his temples. "I can fly us close by. I won't be able to enter if you don't destroy the sigil banning me." 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Cas grabbed his hand again and procured a pen from out of nowhere, drawing a sigil into Dean’s palm. 

Instantly a pleasant tingle coursed through Dean, it was starting to happen every time Cas touched him. 

The angel looked up at him. "This is what it looks like, and…" Cas pulled his angel blade out and laid it in Dean's hand. "I'm lending you my blade. It can kill a demon as well as an angel."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. Fuck the demon knife… “Can I keep this?”

"No." Cas squinted his eyes at him. "It's a part of me."

Dean furrowed his brow. “This isn’t like… your junk, right?”

Cas tilted his head. "Of course not. But it was made out of my grace."

Dean looked the weapon over. That was kind of intense. He flipped the blade in his palm and looked at Cas. “Alright. I’m ready.”

Cas touched Dean's shoulder. "Be careful," he murmured before they found themselves standing right outside a shabby looking motel. 

Dean didn’t hesitate, he went straight for room six and kicked the door open. And was greeted with his brother, doing the horizontal mambo with some chick.

Sam stared at him in shock. "Dude!"

Dean couldn’t help himself, he raised his hands in shock and barked out a laugh. He turned around. “Shit, Sammy. I thought you were in trouble.”

"Seriously, Dean? Why would I be in trouble?" Sam yelled. Dean could hear him hastily pulling on his jeans.

“‘Cause I woke up to you being gone, and Cas showed up, he helped me find you. Apparently this place is warded against angels… the moral of the story being: you should leave a damn note!”

Sam exchanged a weird look with the hot chick, who seemed kinda nervous, and not in a caught having sex type of way. Sam cleared his throat. “I don’t know what Castiel’s problem is, but I would appreciate it if you left. I’ll come back later, and I’ll leave a note next time,” Sam bitched.

“Yeah, yeah. Fine.” Dean started leaving the room before he said, “Why is this place warded against angels? And…” Dean looked the chick up and down. “I’ve seen her before.”

Sam seemed uncomfortable before he said, "She’s my girlfriend. And I have no idea what you're saying about wardings. I just booked a room."

Something wasn’t right. Dean kept his sight on the chick as he pulled out the angel blade. “Well, if it’s a weird coincidence, you have no issue with me breaking the warding…”

Sam's mysterious girlfriend quickly grabbed her clothes and started to dress herself. "Hey, you're pretty weird. I'm leaving."

"Ruby, wait," Sam said, as he walked up to Dean to stand between them. "Dean, put that away and stop ruining my night."

“I don’t see what the big deal is, if breaking the warding isn’t gonna affect either of you,” he said as he started looking for sigils.

Ruby lifted herself on her toes and kissed Sam’s cheek. “I’ll call you.” She pushed past Dean with a muttered, “Excuse me.”

Without thinking twice, he touched the handle of the blade against her exposed wrist.

She hissed and jumped away from him, staring at him in shock. "Are you fucking crazy?" 

Sam pushed Dean's shoulder hard, and practically growled, "Leave her alone." 

Dean showed Sam the butt of the blade. “It wouldn’t have hurt a human.”

Sam glared at him, and suddenly Dean realized that this wasn't news to Sam. "Ruby, go," he whispered, standing between the door and Dean. Ruby quickly made it through the door and vanished.

“A demon? Really, Sammy?” Dean scoffed and shook his head. “You get that her kind murdered both our parents, tortured me for a few decades… You get that, right?”

"You don't know her! She’s helping me!" 

When Dean found the sigil, he carved through it with the blade. “You’re smarter than this.”

A second later Cas was standing next to him. "Are you okay?" he growled. "I saw a demon leaving this room, but she escaped."

Dean let out a scoff. “Yeah, apparently Sammy’s got himself a  _ Romeo and Juliet  _ thing going on.”

Cas tilted his head. "I... I don't understand that reference."

Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to Sam. “Why the fuck are you fooling around with a goddamn demon?”

"Because she’s teaching me to control my powers. For the first time, I'm not afraid of them anymore. She helps me use them to fight monsters."

Cas stepped in front of Sam, giving him a stern look. "Sam Winchester. You were warned not to use these powers."

“Dude, you were friggin’  _ warned?”  _ Dean sighed and shook his head. “The hell is wrong with you?”

Sam glared at Cas. "You never told me why! In fact, you won't tell us anything. Not even why you saved Dean. I can use this power to fight. I can use this for good."

"It's a demonic power. And if you won't stop using it, Heaven will consider you a threat," Cas said.

Sam scoffed and shook his head. "Yeah, she told me you’re afraid of my powers. That's the only reason you want me to suppress them. Because I could actually harm you."

Dean raised his hands. “Enough!” He turned to Cas. “You need to start giving us answers.”

Cas glared at him before he growled, "I told you everything. It's in your brother's best interest to stop using this power. Every time he does, he damages his soul."

That seemed to be news to Sam. "What?"

Cas nodded slowly. "It's the demon blood in you." 

Dean shook his head in dismay. “Alright, I’m definitely not getting sleep tonight.” He pointed at Sam. “You’ve gotta stop using your powers now.” He then turned to Cas. “And you want our help? We’re gonna quid-pro-quo this shit. I think there’s more you’re not telling us.” Dean sighed. “Let’s get our shit and hit the road.”

Cas looked pretty pissed. Almost like he was about to fly away. This had been the longest he stayed with them. “I’ll bring you back to your motel.” He waited for Sam to grab his stuff before he touched both their shoulders and transported them back.

Dean shook his head.  _ Fuck,  _ he hated angel travel. “Alright. No more of that. We’ve gotta knock out for what little sleep we can get before we pack up our shit and head to Bobby’s.”

“Why?” Sam asked with a frown.

“Cas is being hunted. It’s part of breaking a seal,” he said as he started throwing his stuff in the duffel. Maybe it’d get him an extra twenty minutes.

For some reason, Cas didn't seem to be interested in the conversation anymore. He just stared out of the motel window as they packed.

"So, we need to play his babysitter now?" Sam asked incredulously. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “What, you  _ don’t  _ want to stop more seals from being broken?”

"Yeah, of course I want that." Sam walked up to him, gesturing to Cas. "But he’s an angel. I'm sure whatever’s after him, he doesn't need us to defend him."

“So, banging a demon is okay in your book, but helping an angel isn’t?” Dean scoffed and started unbuttoning his shirt. 

Sam rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm just saying… what do we  _ really  _ know about him? Why did he come to us for help? Don't you think that’s suspicious?"

Dean quirked his brow. “He rescued me from Hell, pretty sure that qualifies as me owing him one.”

Sam threw a skeptical look in Cas's direction, who still didn't seem to have any interest in their conversation. "Alright." His brother proceeded to strip down to a hunter’s makeshift pajamas; a worn under shirt and pair of boxers. He grabbed his toiletry kit and a towel from his duffel. “I’m gonna shower.”

“Don’t think our conversation about your demon is done,” Dean said to the closing bathroom door. He let out a deep sigh and proceeded to toss his flannel onto his duffel before he dropped to the bed to untie his boots.

Cas squinted his eyes at him before he sat next to him on the edge of the bed. “I’m very worried about Sam.”

“Join the friggin’ club,” Dean muttered as he pulled his boots off and stood up to unbuckle his belt.

He stopped when he realized that Cas was watching him like a creeper.

It was really freaking Dean out, so he turned his back to Cas as he pulled his jeans down and tossed them onto the duffel.

“The more he will use his power, the more it will deteriorate his soul. I wonder if that is the demon’s goal,” Cas pondered out loud.

Dean turned back to face him. “He could lose his soul?”

Cas looked like he was thinking hard about his answer before he shook his heart. “I think it could be distorted into something… He could end up turning into a demon.”

At that Dean dropped to the bed. “But if he stops now?”

Cas leaned a little closer to him, his eyes wide and sincere. "I firmly believe that his soul will regenerate from this. But he really needs to stop relying on the demon blood inside of him."

“Can we get rid of the blood?” 

The way Cas looked down at his own lap was answer enough. "I don't know."

Dean scoffed. “You know, you and the other doves keep telling us what we can and can’t do, but conveniently keep us in the dark.”

"Dean," Cas breathed out, sounding frustrated before standing up from the bed and walking over to the window. "Despite what you might think, we're not omniscient."

It was then that Sam walked out of the bathroom, still brooding and giving Dean a bitch face.

Dean sighed and looked at Sam. “What?”

Sam crossed his arms over his chest. "It is done. I don't want to talk about her."

Dean had almost forgot their earlier conversation. “No, it isn’t. If it’s no big deal, why didn’t you tell me?” 

The silence was palpable, lingering between the three of them.

"I didn't tell you because I knew how you would react. You only see this one part of her, but I know her," Sam said, finally breaking the seemingly endless stone cold silence. 

Dean really wasn’t up for having this damn argument, but fuck knew Cas suddenly wasn’t making any contributions to the conversation. “You think a demon isn’t waiting to turn on you the second your guard’s down? You’re smarter than that.”

"You don't know her, Dean. She’s different." 

“Why? ‘Cause she’s willing to blow you? Whaddya say, Cas? Is that reason enough to trust a demon?”

Cas didn't reply. He just kept staring out of the window. 

Sam scoffed. "She saved my life on a hunt a few weeks back. She showed me how to defend myself with my powers. I was the one who kissed her first. So, how’s that for ulterior motive?" 

Dean rolled his eyes. “So, based on that assessment, clearly Cas and I should be banging.”

Surprisingly,  _ that  _ triggered a reaction from the angel. He turned around and stared at him with… an unreadable expression. It almost looked like curiosity. Maybe angels could read thoughts? Man, Dean  _ really _ hoped that wasn’t the case.

Dean shook his head and sighed. “Let’s just… stop talking and get some shut eye.”

Sam looked between the two of them with a raised eyebrow before he smirked. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

Dean flipped Sam off in the upper arm and proceeded to get under the covers. Hopefully catching his brother with Ruby wouldn’t prompt any more nightmares.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Castiel had never been overly interested in humanity. He was a soldier. He made his name fighting demons in the endless battles on the plains of Megiddo. He rose in the ranks when his former Captain, Annael had vanished without a trace. It was rumored that Annael had fallen, something that was too far fetched for Castiel to wrap his mind around.

And yet, even though humanity was an absolute mystery to him, he still found himself back in Dean’s dream, hoping he could experience the intimacy again. He knew he shouldn’t. Whereas other angels had no qualms “mingling” with humans, it was still frowned upon in Heaven. Not that Castiel always followed his orders. He wasn’t a hammer. He had questions and doubts. More than once he had gotten in trouble for it. 

There was a risk of him getting degraded, demoted, especially if what he was doing became public knowledge in Heaven. And yet he still couldn’t stop. Being with Dean had opened his mind in so many ways. He had felt things he had never felt before and it was… addictive. 

Dean was sitting on a lonely dock at a beautiful lake when Castiel appeared next to him, giving him a soft smile. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean visibly startled. “Shit, Cas.”

Castiel tilted his head. "I didn't want to startle you." 

_ Did he know that he was real? _ He tried to give him a different impression.

Dean shrugged and nodded for Castiel to sit in the empty chair that appeared beside him. “It’s alright.”

"What are you doing?" he asked as he sat down next to him. Castiel looked over the lake. It was very tranquil and peaceful. He liked it very much.

“Fishin’,” Dean said simply as he looked Castiel over. “Been dreaming about you a lot.”

His whole body felt warm at Dean's words. Castiel gave him a soft smile. "Why is that?"

Dean shrugged. “Not sure. But I’ll take that over the other dreams.”

“What other dreams?” Castiel asked. He was worried that Dean still remembered his time in Hell. He had tried to erase those memories, but it wasn’t an easy, nor precise undertaking.

Dean waved him off. “Doesn’t matter. When you’re in my dream, I know it’s gonna be a good one.”

Castiel decided to be brave and reached over to Dean’s hand, covering it with his own. He dragged the pad of his thumb over Dean’s knuckles before he murmured, "I want to make your dreams better."

Dean smiled and pulled Castiel’s hand to his lips. “You do, angel.”

His hand tingled from where Dean's lips met his skin, and he couldn't help but mirror the smile before he pulled Dean up from the chair and towards him, right onto his lap. He liked that they were close now. "Dean," he whispered. "I want you to kiss me again."

Dean chuckled and lazily draped his arms around Castiel’s neck as he drew closer. “You know you can kiss me first,” he said before closing the gap between them. 

Castiel gasped when he finally felt Dean's lips against his own. Kissing was incredible. He couldn't get enough of it. 

The gentle, tender kiss quickly grew into something that burned with ferocity. Dean tilted his head slightly; the kiss deepened in every way imaginable as he started gyrating in Castiel’s lap. 

Castiel needed more. His fingers went to Dean's shirt and he unbuttoned it before he slid it from Dean’s shoulders. It got caught at Dean's wrists because of the buttons. He didn't open them, instead he tied the shirt, essentially trapping Dean's arms behind his back.

Dean smirked, leaning in to try and capture his lips in another frenetic kiss.

Castiel held him back and shook his head. He grabbed Dean's hips and helped him to stand up. Castiel licked over his too dry lips as he opened the button of Dean's jeans and slowly pulled them (and Dean's underwear) down.

Dean groaned in appreciation as the fabric dragged over his erection, cock now jutting out at Castiel’s lip level.

Castiel leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of Dean's sex. He licked at the precum now on his lips. "Spread your legs," he commanded.

“Hell yeah,” Dean murmured as he broadened his stance, legs bowed impressively.

For a brief moment Castiel wished Dean would always be so compliant. He licked over his own finger to make it wet before he started to tease Dean's hole. He loved the noises that Dean made, and he wasn't disappointed when Dean's moans got louder the moment he wrapped his lips around his girth and gently started to suck.

“Goddamn,” Dean breathed out as he desperately rode Castiel’s finger. “Fuck, fuck…”

This was a dream, and it didn't follow any physical rules if Dean didn't want them. He could feel how the man became more physically open and relaxed against his ministrations, far more than he would in the real world.

Castiel opened his pants with his free hand and freed his erection. "I want you to ride me, Dean," he said as he reluctantly pulled off, releasing Dean's cock.

Dean nodded mutely as he pushed Castiel to lay on the dock, spread legs bowing wider as he slowly started to seat himself on his erection. Dean let out a soft gasp when the head of Castiel’s cock started to breach him. “Oh, fuck, Cas.”

Dean was the only one that had ever shortened his name, and Castiel found he really started to like it. It added to the intimacy that he found so addictive.

He grabbed Dean's hips and started to thrust into him, trying to give Dean all the pleasure that his human wanted and needed. It felt incredible.

“You fuck so good,” Dean groaned against his lips as he started meeting Castiel’s thrusts.

"Do you need it harder?" Castiel asked, wondering why his voice sounded so breathless.

Dean nodded as he tried to slam himself even harder on Castiel’s girth. “Love when you take charge.”

Castiel growled, an animalistic sound to match the need he felt as he started to thrust into Dean at a harder, faster pace. One hand held him in place, the other grabbed Dean's erection and started to stroke. “I like that you follow my orders," he replied with a groan.

“In case you can’t tell, I’m pretty obedient,” he gasped out before mumurming, “fuck, fuck, I’m close, I’m so fucking close.”

Castiel knew that wasn't true in real life. Dean never seemed to do what he asked. Or at least, not without protest. "I want you to come."

Dean bit his lower lip, nodding as his hips shuddered, as though in aftershock from the quake of his orgasm. “Yes, yes,” he hissed, voice breathless.

Castiel thrust into him a few more times before he came, completely overwhelmed by the feeling. No wonder angels were so tempted by relationships with humans. He could understand why, now that he was coming down from such an incredible high.

Dean let out a satiated chuckle. “Damn…”

Castiel pushed himself up before he pulled Dean into a soft but deep kiss. A kiss he wanted to imprint in his memory. "Dean," he murmured against his lips, hating the pull reality had on Dean. He was waking up. Sam was calling his name. "Stay, please stay, for a little bit longer," he begged, but it was too late. 

Castiel was back, sitting in the motel room at the table, looking out of the window. Behind him Sam was shaking Dean awake.

"Dude, wake up! You had a nightmare," Sam said.

Castiel wondered how Sam arrived at that conclusion. He knew that hadn't been the case.

Dean shook his head and pushed Sam off. “No, I didn’t.”

Castiel hid his smile by looking out of the window. "It's still very early. Why don't you sleep for a little while longer, Sam? You look tired." 

Sam gave Castiel a suspicious look before he yawned and nodded. "Yeah, okay, alright."

He went back to his bed, pulling the blanket over him, but Castiel only registered that marginally. He only had eyes for Dean. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

Dean furrowed his brow as he looked Castiel over. He shook his head and turned over onto his side, back now towards Castiel.

Cas stood up and walked over to him before he sat down on the edge of the bed. “What is it?” he asked again.

Dean practically startled as he murmured, “Christ. What’s your deal anyway?”

Castiel tilted his head. "I only want to see if you're okay."

Dean shook his head as he scrubbed his hand over his face. “You stopped talking to us hours ago, now you give a shit? Go back to whatever creeper crap you were doing.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "Cre... creeper crap?"  _ What did that even mean? _

“Yeah, man. You’re just sitting there while we’re sleeping. No matter how you slice it, it’s creepy.”

"What would you like me to do instead?" Castiel asked after a moment.

Dean shook his head. “At this point, I don’t care.”

For some reason Castiel felt hurt by that. "Maybe I was wrong to come here." He missed the intimacy they had shared in the dream, now a hundred times more than the last time. “I… I’ll try to find Uriel.”

Dean grasped his forearm. “Don’t be stupid. We’ll be at Bobby’s in the morning.”

Castiel looked down at Dean's hand, unable to stop himself as he covered it with his own hand. "I don't want to be... creepy."

Dean’s expression was bemused as he looked at the placement of Castiel’s hand. “You’re not doin’ a good job of it.”

Castiel tilted his head and looked down at their hands. "Is... is this not okay?"

“Dudes don’t hold hands, well… unless they’re gay.”

"I'm an angel," Castiel stated. He didn't have a gender, nor did he have a preference in the gender of a sexual partner. At least he didn't think he did. The only person he had been interested in so far was Dean.

Dean quirked his brow. “Whatever. You aren’t my boyfriend, so don’t hold my hand.”

Castiel drew back his hand and looked down at his lap. "I apologize. I don't... I don't understand humans very well."

“Well, this human needs some shut eye.”

“You want to fall asleep? I could help you with that?” Castiel offered. But this time he wouldn’t visit Dean in his dreams. He would need to restrain himself. This was just a fantasy, the intimacy just an illusion. It was unwise to get distracted by something that wasn’t real. 

Dean chuckled and waved him off. “Just let me sleep, man.”

Castiel nodded and got up from the bed, wandering back to his chair. And then he waited.

He listened to Dean's breathing pattern, and as it evened out, he found himself tempted to go inside of Dean’s head. But instead, he just forced himself to look out of the window.

He needed to stop longing for the human. He had a mission.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When they reached Bobby’s place, all three of them got a manual smacked upside their heads for waking him up before 9:45. Dean didn’t realize the time had changed.

“Alright! We’ll remember in the future, Bobby,” Dean offered as he got out of range.

Castiel just looked confused by everything. Nothing new on that front. "We're here about one of the seals. Someone is killing specific angels to destroy it. We need your assistance to find out who it is."

“What in Sam Hill makes you think I can do something angels can’t?” Bobby demanded, voice gruffer by the syllable.

“I don’t know who that is,” Castiel replied before he looked at Dean. “Dean suggested using this location has tactical advantages. We’re using me as bait to whoever is killing the angels, and lure them into a trap.”

“You done bumped your damn head,” Bobby said in an exasperated sigh in Dean’s direction.

Dean raised his hands. “We’re stopping a seal from being broken.”

“It is a very good plan,” Castiel defended him. 

“See?” Dean pointed at Cas, “the angel thinks so.”

Cas frowned at him with a displeased look, but he didn’t comment on why he was disgruntled with Dean all of the sudden. He just turned to Bobby. “You have a room we can use, right?”

“You wanna give my panic room to an angel?” Bobby’s incredulous tone had that telling tremor, that meant he was going to cave, even if he thought it was an idiotic idea.

“It’s the perfect location for a trap. Especially if it is a demon we’re fighting,” Castiel explained calmly. “It has every tactical advantage we need.”

Bobby let out a long suffering sigh. “Alright. How long you gonna need it?”

"I don't know. It depends how quickly the killer will take the bait," Cas looked over at Dean. "And we need to contact Uriel. He might be the next on the list."

“Want me to pray to him?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” Cas replied simply. “But we should do it inside the room. I need to add more sigils to it.”

Dean nodded in agreement, and for Cas to follow him down to the basement. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m curious to see what sigils Bobby doesn’t know.”

“He probably warded everything against demons, but not so Heaven wouldn’t spy on him. And that’s not usually a concern with humans, so I don’t believe I will find a sigil down there like that,” Cas replied before he gave Dean a confused look. “Before you met me you didn’t even believe my species existed.”

Dean shrugged. “Don’t mean Bobby didn’t have a sigil to ward your kind off.”

Cas’s expression was dripping with skepticism as they walked down the stairs to the room. "You need to be very paranoid to–" He stopped talking when they entered the safe room and looked around with a raised eyebrow. "Never mind."

Dean couldn’t help the cocky swell of pride. “Told ya’.”

Cas nodded slowly before he leaned against the bed in the center of the room. “Okay, now that we’re alone… you should pray to Uriel.”

Dean nodded. He closed his eyes and cleared his throat. “Uh, Uriel, this is Dean Winchester and you need to get your ass to where I am.”

Cas raised an eyebrow, but he didn't say anything. It took a moment before Uriel suddenly appeared in front of him. The guy still looked like a condescending douchebag. "Dean Winchester." He turned in surprise to see Castiel. "Castiel? What are you doing here?"

“Someone has killed the angel of Tuesday. And the angel of Monday is missing. I believe another seal is under attack,” Cas replied calmly.

Uriel appeared taken aback. “Are you certain it’s not coincidental?”

“We know that the seals are being actively targeted. Do you really want to risk your life by ignoring those facts?” Cas asked in return.

“There’s no evidence the angels of the week are being targeted for a seal.”

“I just told you that one angel is already dead and another one missing. Why aren’t you more concerned about this, brother?” Cas asked, sounding frustrated.

Uriel sighed. “While I don’t doubt we’ve lost some brothers in the fray, I’m saying we are unaware of the demons acting on this particular seal, so their deaths may be coincidental.”

Cas raised his eyebrow, accompanied by an impressive bitch face. "So you're willing to bet your life on this being a 'coincidence'?" And yep, that angel dweeb really did air quotes with his fingers.

“I’m willing to take the risk to adhere to my orders, Castiel. I will not go into hiding, like a  _ coward.” _

"Who says I'm hiding?" Cas growled. 

Uriel scoffed and pointed at the panic room. “This is hiding.”

Dean had had enough. “You know what, numbnuts? Cas was tryin’ to do you a solid, and stop another seal from being broken, since that’s your guys’ ultimate mission, right? So, either hang out here or don’t, I don’t give a shit, as long as the deaths stop at yours, the seal’s still safe.”

Cas turned to Uriel with a sigh. "Brother, I can't force you to stay with us, but at least be careful out there. Too many of us have already died."

Uriel scoffed and stepped closer to Cas. “You’re being foolish, Castiel. And all for a mud monkey.”

"I am right," Cas replied with conviction. 

“If I die, at least I know I will have died with honor.” Uriel shook his head in dismay as he shoved past Dean, staring down at him with an almost disgusted expression. “You’re more expendable than you think.”

Dean cupped his hand to his ear and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t speak junkless douchebag, can you repeat that?”

Cas raised an eyebrow. “If I survive by the end of the week, and kill the one that is responsible for this, I will know I survived as a great tactician. There is nothing honorable in death.”

Uriel looked from Dean, then slowly back to Cas. “That’s where you’re wrong,” he said, before vanishing before their eyes, the sound of wings flapping fading shortly after.

Dean let out a low whistle and shook his head. “I swear I’ve met nicer demons.”

Cas didn't reply. He just stood there frozen, with a very thoughtful expression.

Dean waved his hand in front of Cas’s face. “Yo. Space Cowboy.”

Cas grabbed Dean's wrist and gave him a stern look. "Uriel was behaving illogically and disrespectfully. I don't understand."

“Honestly, seemed like his normal, grumpy, pretentious ass self to me.” 

“I’m his Captain,” Cas murmured before he shook his head. “There is something he isn’t telling me. Maybe he knows more than he’s letting on.”

Dean shrugged as he moved to lean against the wall. “Well, fuck that guy.”

For a moment Cas looked confused, before he seemed to get it and nodded. “I can’t help him if he doesn’t cooperate. But… I’m wondering now if maybe…” He shook his head. “I don’t want to believe it, but maybe there is an angel involved in this. One that is taking Lucifer’s side.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Thought you guys weren’t programmed for sin, or whatever.”

Cas gave him a bitch face. "Lucifer was an archangel. Any angel can fall or be corrupted."

“Think that’s what grumpy bear did?” 

“He is behaving erratically and over emotional. It’s suspicious.” Cas walked up to him and leaned against the wall next to Dean. “Thank you for helping me.”

Dean shrugged. “The least I could do.”

“For what?”

Dean let out a disbelieving scoff. “The whole rescuing me from Hell thing.”

Cas shook his head and gave him a soft smile. “You don’t owe me anything, Dean Winchester.”

“I owe you my life, dude.”

"You're destined to save the world, Dean," Cas stated simply.

Dean shook his head. “No offense, but I just want to live my life and help as many people as I can along the way.”

“I know this all sounds like too much for you now. But I have faith in you, Dean. I know whatever the future might bring, however this war between Heaven and Hell will end, that you will be there to fight for humanity.” Cas looked up at the ceiling. “I know you’re strong enough to do anything.”

Dean didn’t know what to say. It was too much, and Dean wasn’t anywhere near the man this angel thought he was. But instead of addressing that, in fact Dean would be fine to never bring it up again, he said, “I need a drink.”

Cas looked at the floor. “I… apologize. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Dean waved him off, and as he started to climb the stairs, whatever possessed him he would never know, he added, “Wanna join me?”

Cas clearly hadn’t anticipated the question either, if Dean was interpreting Cas’s expression right. He pushed himself away from the wall and nodded. “Yes.”

Dean nodded for Cas to follow as he made his way to Bobby’s kitchen. When he found Bobby’s “stash”, he grabbed a bottle of cheap scotch and waved it at Cas. “Mother’s milk,” he murmured as he grabbed a couple of glasses.

Cas tilted his head. “This doesn’t look like milk, Dean.”

Dean barked out a laugh and handed him a glass. “Well, thankfully it doesn’t taste like it either.”

Cas sniffed at the glass before he carefully took a sip from it. “Mm,” he commented carefully. “Interesting.”

“No good?” Dean asked as he took a swig.

"I... I don't know. I have nothing to compare it to. It's... interesting. But I don't think in a bad way," Cas replied thoughtfully, before he nipped his drink again.

Dean knocked his glass against Cas’s. “To keeping you safe.”

Cas widened his eyes before he gave him a shy look. "Um, thank you, Dean."

Goddamn, those baby blues haunted him when he was awake too. Dean cleared his throat. “No problem.”

“So is this… drink helping?” Cas asked after a moment.

“Not yet,” he said as he polished his glass off and poured another four fingers.

“What happens if you drink more of it?” Cas asked curiously.

Dean chuckled and poured more in Cas’s glass. “It starts helping.”

"But how?" Cas asked as he drank more from his glass.

“Numbs everything. Like anesthesia.”

Cas looked worried all of the sudden, and Dean wondered when he started noticing all these emotions on Cas's face. "Are you in pain?"

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”

Cas walked closer to him, right into his personal space. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? I mean, if you need to numb something… you aren't fine."

Dean rolled his eyes. “Just don’t let me drink alone.”

Cas stared at him for a long moment before he nodded and drank from his glass. "The alcohol probably won't affect me."

“Now you tell me,” Dean murmured with a mildly annoyed sigh.

Cas raised an eyebrow. "Did you want to see what would happen to me?"

“Well, yeah, kinda…”

“I think I will need a lot more than this to feel something.” Cas tilted his head. “I could procure more of those bottles.”

Dean quirked his brow at him. “The whole point of this was to keep you safe until we figure out who’s bumpin’ off angels.”

“It would just take a second,” Cas explained with a soft smile. “You wouldn’t even notice I’m gone.”

Dean grabbed him by the wrist. “I will if you don’t come back.”

They stared at each other for a long moment before Cas murmured, "You're worried about me." It sounded a lot like he was surprised about that.

Dean scoffed and moved to lean against the counter, giving them a little distance. “So?”

Cas looked down at the floor, a soft smile playing around his lips. "Thank you. For caring. It's... nice."

Dean hated how familiar that smile was. From his dreams, that were getting more and more intense. Hell, it even featured him confessing his love for the angel. Which proved how much it was a dream. Dean didn’t say those words. They were a liability. “We’re friends, right?”

"I would like that very much," Cas replied. The soft barely there smile was still in place.

“Good, so, uh… stay put.” Dean flashed him a smile. “For now.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Dean had passed out on the bed in the middle of the sealed room, where he insisted Castiel should be staying for the night. Sam and Bobby were upstairs, leaving them alone. 

One of the reasons was a fight between Dean, Sam and Bobby earlier about Sam’s nightly rendezvous with a demon. When this was all over, Castiel wanted to help and find out who that demon had been, and what her agenda was.

Castiel had also overheard Sam saying something about “intense eye fucking” between Dean and Cas, and had announced to Bobby that he didn’t want to get in the middle of it.

Not that Castiel minded being alone with Dean. Just the opposite. 

He liked to watch over him when he slept. He liked even more to visit him in his dreams. But since Dean had told him that they were friends, he started to hesitate.

Was it wrong what he was doing? Dean was initiating their intimacy in his dreams, but he had no idea that Castiel was real. On the other hand… Castiel liked that he could give Dean some happiness, and that he kept Dean’s nightmares away. That had to count for something. And wouldn’t a good friend help in any way he could?

Even in his own mind this sounded like a cheap excuse to be selfish, and to feel something he wasn’t supposed to feel as an angel. A feeling of so much intensity that it frightened him as much as it excited him. He had no idea how to give up on that.

He hated himself for how weak he was. Dean Winchester was his human weakness, and he knew that Heaven already suspected this to be a liability. That he liked humanity too much, and it would interfere with his mission. 

Castiel didn’t see it that way. Liking humanity… liking Dean, couldn’t be a bad thing. The world needed Dean, what difference did it make that Castiel would do anything to help him? Dean was important. He was the most important thing to Castiel. He didn’t see any harm in that. 

Maybe the other angels just didn’t understand because they had never experienced something so extraordinary, like intimacy with a human. Whatever the reason, Castiel knew that he couldn’t keep away from Dean. He needed this feeling as much as the world needed Dean.

So he carefully slipped into Dean’s dream again.

To his surprise he was still in the panic room. Just that Dean was sitting on the bed now, awake. 

He smiled at him as he sat on the bed next to him. “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas,” he said, voice fond as he grasped Cas’s tie and gently started toying with it. 

Castiel looked down at his tie before he asked, "You really seem to like my tie."

Dean shrugged. “I like you.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "How much?"

“More than I probably should,” Dean murmured as he dove in for a kiss, pulling Cas close by the grip on his tie.

Castiel's heartbeat skipped hearing those words. Of course, he hoped that Dean meant them in reality too. His fingers moved on their own, opening Dean's shirt and quickly pushing it off his shoulders, before he unbuckled Dean's belt and pushed him down on the bed. “I want you,” he growled.

Dean nodded in excitement as he yanked off his pants. “Fuck yeah.”

Castiel grabbed the hem of Dean’s briefs and pulled them down too... no time to waste. His gaze lingered on this beautiful man in front of him, wishing that at one point he could do this in reality. But then he would take his time, worshipping every freckle on his skin with his lips and tongue. Just like in a trance, he started to open his own shirt.

“Goddamn, you’re sexy,” Dean groaned, as he pressed a hungry kiss to Castiel’s lips.

Castiel pushed him down on the bed again with a growled, “Stay there.” His own shirt slipped from his shoulders and fell to the ground. He had left his tie on, because he knew Dean liked it. His eyes couldn’t stop trailing over Dean’s vulnerable state, waiting for him, like he was only for Castiel to have. He really liked that. His pants joined the shirt on the floor, before he grabbed Dean’s hips and pulled him to the edge of the bed, propping Dean’s legs on his shoulders. Castiel hummed as he started to finger Dean’s ass, teasing him. 

“Fuck… I think I’m a little addicted to you.”

Castiel noticed, his heart skipping at Dean’s words. He roughly dragged the pad of his thumb over Dean’s nipple before he used his grace, and the fact that he had influence over Dean’s dream, to relax him and prepare him. He didn’t have the patience this time. “Good,” he growled. “You can have me anytime you want.”

“Only when I’m dreaming.” At that, Dean gasped and drew back, looking around in bemusement. “I am dreaming, right?”

The problem with that question was that it instantly shook Dean awake and booted Cas out of his dream. He was back, leaning against the wall of the circular room, watching in frustration how Dean's eyes blinked open and he sat up on the bed. He tried to get his frustration under control. "You're awake," he stated gruffly.

Dean shook his head, brow furrowed. “Did… did we?”

Castiel knew he should say something. He was deceiving Dean, and it was not okay. He really should tell him, but he was so afraid of Dean’s reaction. Of the possibility that Dean would reject him. He couldn’t lose what they shared. He didn’t know how. He walked closer to the bed, looking intensely at Dean with parted lips. All he wanted to do was to kiss him. Fear was something he had never experienced in his life before. But for the first time he did, now faced with the possibility of losing Dean. “Do you want to fall asleep again?” he asked quietly.

Dean furrowed his brow as he shifted to sit more upright. “No, I’m… I’m good.”

Castiel couldn’t help but feel disappointed by that. “Are, um, are you sure? You barely slept.”

“Why do you want me to sleep so badly?” he asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Castiel hoped his reasoning would be believable as he answered, “You haven’t slept a lot. Sleep is required for humans to function. Is it not? The more you go without sleep, the less you will be able to fight or react quickly to situations. If we get attacked… you could get hurt.”

Dean quirked his brow. “We’re in a panic room nothing can get into.”

“Maybe not inside of this room, but outside the house we could get attacked,” Castiel argued.

Dean held his gaze for a moment. “You’re being weird.”

Cas stared back. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me why you’re being weird.” Dean let out a soft groan as he started stretching his arms out, his shirt lifting enough to partially reveal his torso.

He couldn't help but stare, licking over his way too dry lips. "I'm not weird. I'm just… worried about you."

Dean stared at him for a moment. “Maybe I should go upstairs.”

Cas looked away and nodded. “I apologize. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just thought…” He shook his head.

“Thought what?”

“I thought we were friends,” Cas finished his sentence quietly. “Isn’t it normal for friends to worry about each other?”

Dean let out a soft laugh. “We are friends, Cas.”

“Why did I make you uncomfortable, then?” Cas asked carefully. Dean was really confusing and hard to read.

Dean shook his head. “I think my dreams are bleeding into reality.”

Castiel felt really bad then. He looked down to the floor. "In what way?" he asked quietly.

Dean waved him off. “Doesn’t matter.”

Cas stepped closer to Dean, giving him an intense look. "Dean, it does matter to me. Do you wish to stop dreaming about those things?"

Dean held his gaze, brow furrowed in thought, before he carefully said, “If I did?”

Castiel swallowed dryly; his throat felt too tight. "Then I could help you, by redirecting your dreams to something nice… something that makes you happy." Because ultimately that was all Castiel cared about. 

“So you can manipulate my dreams?” he stated slowly, carefully.

Castiel shook his head. "Only if you consent to it." Entering a dream wasn't manipulating, but Dean didn't need to know that. He didn't want to give him a false impression. "If there is something… nightmares or whatever it is, that is plaguing you, I could redirect those dreams to something that makes you happy."

Dean looked at him for a moment. “What if they aren’t nightmares?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Cas explained, feeling heartbroken. “If you don’t want those dreams I can make them go away.”

“I… I’ll let you know then, if I need that…”

Castiel nodded slowly, hoping this was a good sign. Maybe Dean wanted to keep those dreams. He seemed happy every time he had dreamed of them being intimate. “Do you want me to stay down here?”

Dean gave him a pointed look. “You’re the one that needs the protection of this panic room, so yeah. You’ve gotta stay down here.” 

Castiel nodded with a sigh before he walked over to the wall and slid down to the floor, sitting down. "I’ll call you if I hear anything over angel radio," he stated neutrally, hoping his weird emotional state wasn't visible to Dean, and the hunter would just leave.

Dean stood there for a moment, looking at Cas, before he left without another word.

He had no idea what to make of this. The only thing he could do was wait until Dean fell asleep again, and maybe peek into his dream. He hoped in his dreams he would still want him. He knew he would miss the intimacy with the hunter. 

But he also knew that it was more important for him that Dean was happy. He just couldn't stop hoping he could be the one to make Dean happy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The dreams were getting more and more realistic. Dean didn’t know why, and in the freakin’ panic room of all places… That was why when he woke up, and Cas was right there, he almost questioned whether or not it had been real, but the angel was so clueless, it couldn’t have been.

Dean found himself more and more drawn to Cas with each dream. Like their fabricated intimacy was influencing and affecting his own feelings for the guy. And that was just crazy. 

As he settled himself on the couch in Bobby’s living room, he tried to think of anything else before letting his eyelids close with the weight of exhaustion. And yet, blue eyes were the last thing on his mind as he let his tiredness take over.

This time he was laying on the beach, in the sand, staring up at a clear blue sky. One that paled in comparison to a certain angel’s, that presently haunted his dreams, eye color.

He could feel someone standing behind him, and yep… it was Cas. Windswept hair and complete trench coat getup. The angel didn’t say anything though, he just stared at the sky.

“You gonna join me?” he asked as he patted the sand next to him.

Cas gave him a hesitant look before he sat down, blinking into the sun. “This is very nice.”

“Isn’t it?” Dean murmured as he moved to grasp Cas’s hand.

Cas took it with a soft smile and squeezed as he looked up again. “Dean, I need to confess something.”

Dean returned the smile. “Shoot.”

Cas rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and sighed, his fingers drew patterns into the sand. “I never felt like this before. You… mean so much to me. Everything... and I want to make you happy.”

Dean was taken aback by that. His dreams were usually more about their physical connection. “You do make me happy.”

“Are you sure?” Cas asked carefully. “Is there anything… I can do to make your life better?”

“Can you fix my mess of a life?” he asked with a mirthless laugh.

Cas gave him a soft smile. “I’m doing everything in my power to help you. If I could… if it was possible for me, I would take all your... ‘mess’ away.”

Dean squeezed his hand. “I believe you would.”

“I would do anything for you, Dean. All you need is ask,” Cas replied in earnest. 

Dean let out a sad chuckle. “Bet you wouldn’t say that outside of here.”

“What do you mean?” Cas asked carefully. “I mean those words.”

Dean barked out a laugh. “This is all a fantasy, Cas.”

“What if it’s not?” he asked. “It could be real if you want it to be.”

“No it couldn’t.” Dean scoffed. “You’re an angel, I’m a human who you rescued from Hell. Romeo and Juliet ain’t got nothing on us.”

"I feel... just like you do, Dean. I'm not untouchable." Cas squeezed his hand again. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “You’re a figment of my imagination. You aren’t the real Cas.”

Cas looked at him for a very long time before he swallowed visibly and whispered, "I'm real."

“No, you’re not.” Shit, maybe these were nightmares, if the dream angel was trying to convince him he was real.

Cas stood up and let go of his hand, frowning deeply. "No, Dean. I am here. I'm dream walking. Remember our conversation earlier? When I told you I can make your bad dreams go away? It's me, Castiel. I'm in your dream."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up, but before he could respond he jerked awake, suddenly alone on Bobby’s crappy couch. He threw off the throw and made his way down to Bobby’s basement. 

When he pushed open the door to the panic room, he said, “We need to talk.”

Cas stood up from the floor, looking at him with worry. "Alright."

Dean held his hand out. “Have you been coming into my dreams?”

Cas nodded softly. “Yes.”

“Is that why I’m dreaming about you?” Dean felt dirty, and violated, in ways not even Alastair accomplished.

“What?” Cas asked in confusion. “No. I never influenced your dreams.”

Dean narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Then what are you doing in my dreams? How much did you see?”

Cas looked down at his feet. “Enough to tell you that my confession is real. That I would do anything for you. That I want you to be happy.”

Dean shivered, and not in a good way. “How much have you  _ seen?” _

Cas looked down at the floor. "I wanted to tell you that it was me. But you surprised me. I... I never wanted to deceive you, but I was so afraid I would lose this closeness to you. A closeness I stumbled upon and couldn't let go of."

“How long?” Dean demanded.

Cas still didn’t look at him. “Four times. I wanted to tell you the first time I visited your dream. But then you started to undress me and kiss me… and… you made me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

Dean waved his hand and shook his head. “You… you’ve been…  _ with  _ me in my dreams?”

Cas nodded softly. “The last four dreams to be precise.”

“And at no point did it occur to you how much of a violation that is?” Dean felt sick. Cas had seen a side of him no one ever saw.

His vulnerable side.

Judging by Cas’s reaction, it hadn’t occurred to the angel that this was a violation. His face paled a little as he whispered, “Violation? I thought… you instigated intimacy with me. I thought it meant that you wanted this.”

“I didn’t! Dream me might have, but  _ I _ didn’t.”

"Oh." Cas gave him a heartbroken look before his eyes wandered to his feet again. "I… I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Dean rifled his hand through his hair. He had never been so confused in his damn life. “I… I don’t know how to deal with this,” he said as he turned and left to go back upstairs. He needed booze. A lot of booze.

"Dean," Cas called out to him. "There is something I could do to help."

“You’ve done enough,” Dean clipped as he didn’t wait for Cas and made his way to Bobby’s booze pantry in his office.

Cas followed him up to Bobby's kitchen, where they were thankfully alone. Bobby and Sam were probably both sleeping. "I could make you forget about this, if you want. And you wouldn't dream about me anymore," Cas suggested quietly, standing right next to him at Bobby’s desk as he searched for the whiskey.

Dean sighed and shook his head. “You don’t get to do that, Cas. You don’t get to take advantage of the situation to get off, and then erase it from my head because you got caught.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Cas held up his hand, looking at him with a pained expression. “I just don’t know… how to fix this.”

Dean downed half the room temperature scotch before he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Why?” 

"Are you asking why I want to fix this?"

Dean leaned against the desk as he cradled the booze. “Why did you do it? And continue to do it?”

Cas looked down at the floor. He took his sweet time answering. "The first time... I was too surprised to act, I think. The other times... I... I just wanted to feel again. It felt so addicting, and I just didn't know how to stop."

While there was a part of him that was extremely pissed, and creeped out, there was a pang of sympathy for the angel. He probably really didn’t realize why this whole situation was not okay. Dean blamed the fact that those goddamn dreams made him… feel things he’d never dealt with before. That was part of what made this even worse. “Those weren’t your dreams to see, to touch.”

Cas nodded softly, giving him a sheepish look. "I have to confess that... I don't really know how much of a dream is reality for humans. We don't dream. And we don't have... 'privacy'. In Heaven every angel is connected. Although we have the ability to block out the others... we don't have a reason to." Cas suddenly froze and his eyes widened. "Uriel! He isn't connected with us at the moment. He shut himself out. It's not unusual for some angels to do this from time to time, especially if they are on secret missions, but... what if he is hiding something from me? About the attacks."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “You said you thought it was an inside job.”

"Yes, but I've never suspected Uriel to be a part of it. I thought he would be one of the victims," Cas looked confused about that, obviously trying to connect the dots in his head.

“Kamikaze,” Dean said as he put the cap back on the booze. Grateful for the distraction.

“Kamikaze?” Cas asked with a frown, leaning against the desk. “You mean he is… he is going to kill himself after killing everyone else related to this seal?”

Dean shrugged. “No point in trying to break the seal otherwise, right?”

Cas looked a little pale for some reason. “I think I’m going to be sick. That an angel would do something like this… to be so extreme.” He shook his head, taking in an audible breath.

“I mean, is it that crazy? This whole apocalypse shit is about freeing Lucifer.”

Cas looked down again, looking heartbroken. "I guess not. Lucifer was extreme and he had a lot of followers."

Dean sighed. “And Uranus likes us even less than that guy, from the sounds of it.”

_ “Uriel _ was never fond of humanity, but he never not fulfilled his duty to Heaven. I don’t understand how I didn’t see this… he is in my garrison.”

“Well, I never thought my brother would fuck one of the things that killed our Mom.” Dean let out a mirthless chuckle and moved to sit on the desk.

“I’m very sorry about that,” Cas replied, looking up at him with a sad puppy eye expression. “For  _ everything.” _

Dean sighed. “I know you are. You just… you can’t go into my dreams like that.”

There was an insecure expression on Cas's face when he asked, "So you don't want me to visit your dreams anymore, or are you asking me to tell you directly when it's me?"

Dean rolled his eyes. “Unfrigginbelievable.”

Cas looked down again. “I’m sorry, I… I don’t know what to do. You need to give me an order, Dean. Tell me to stop visiting your dreams."

“Don’t visit my dreams,” he said, tone calm yet firm.

Cas nodded, looking heartbroken. "Alright."

Dean hated how awkward the air was between them now. “Okay, good.”

“What if it’s an emergency? It’s a very convenient way of communication when I’m away and can’t come to you.”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then you tell me you’re visiting, and don’t have sex with me when I’m unconscious.”

Cas frowned deeply. "You weren't unconscious. I never touched you outside of the dream. And in the dream you wanted this."

“That doesn’t make it okay!”

"I don't understand why you don't want me anymore," Cas murmured after a long moment, his expression crestfallen.

Dean stared at him incredulously. “Dream me and awake me aren’t the same person.”

“Why not?” Cas asked, sounding incredibly confused.

“Dude, I don’t know,” he said with a head shake. “We just… aren’t.”

Cas looked heartbroken again before he nodded. "I... I see. So… you don’t… you never really wanted me like this."

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t… I mean… maybe on some level. But…” he sighed and turned away from Cas. This was too much.

He heard Cas shuffling behind him. "It's okay... I misunderstood you. I'm not very good at interacting with humans. I hope you can forgive me."

Dean turned back to face him. “You… you weren’t supposed to ever find out.”

"I'm really sorry," Cas repeated. "I never wanted you to be uncomfortable. I just... I just wanted to make you happy."

“I don’t know how to deal with this,” he confessed.

Cas walked around him, a pained expression on his face. "There is an angel... she erased memories. I could ask her to erase mine. Then I would never know of this. I would do anything to fix what I've done. Please tell me how I can fix this."

Dean shook his head. “No, I… I just… you weren’t supposed to know, let alone want it too.”

"Why does it matter if you don't want me?" Cas asked quietly. "I promise I will accept this."

“I’m not  _ supposed  _ to want you!”

Cas's eyebrows shot up as he looked at him with wide eyes. "Why not?" His voice barely more than a whisper.

Dean scoffed and braced his hands against the desk. “I’m not… I’m not gay.”

Cas tilted his head. "So this is about human sexuality?"

“What kind of question is that?”

"I... I don't understand how this is a problem. You seemed to enjoy what we were doing. But you also told me that your dreams don't mirror your actual feelings so..." Cas tilted his head. "I'm very confused."

Dean sighed. “Welcome to the club.”

Cas looked at the floor, shuffling his feet. “Did you… did you like what we did in your dream?”

How the hell was he supposed to answer that question? As far as Dean knew, he had no control over his dreams. But then… why was he dreaming about being with Cas in the first place? Dean shrugged. “That’s a loaded question.”

"It's actually not. You must know if you woke up hoping you would never dream of this again, or waking up having liked it," Cas said, staring at him.

“It  _ is  _ loaded,” Dean countered as he held Cas’s gaze, “Just ‘cause I liked it in a dream, doesn’t mean I’d like it in real life.”

Cas stepped closer to him, his lips parted. "Is that something you want to find out?"

Dean swallowed dryly. “I… I can’t.”

“Why not?”

He didn’t want to think about it, to say it out loud. Dean shook his head. “I told you.”

Cas stared at him for a long moment. "What if you dream about me again?"

“I don’t know.” Dean let out another sigh. “And why would that matter anyway?”

"Are you okay with dreaming about me in that way? Is that something you want to keep experiencing?" Cas looked away for a moment. "Or would it be easier to not dream about me in this way anymore?”

Dean had no idea how to answer that. He ducked Cas’s gaze. “I was okay with it until I found out you were getting off on it.”

Cas glowered at him. "So it's okay that you use my image to 'get off', but it's not okay that I feel the same?"

“I didn’t have control, but you did!”

"I didn't have any control," Cas replied in a frustrated voice. "You're like gravity, and the moment you first touched me like that I was lost. All I'm thinking of is you and being close to you again. I have no idea how I can get control over these emotions, because before you.... all these millions of years I felt nothing. And now I feel everything."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up as he stared at Cas, a little dumbfounded. The only response he had to give was to yank Cas forward by the tie into a ferocious kiss.

Cas instantly answered by slamming him into the wall behind him, and returning the kiss like a starving man, licking deep into his mouth. He tasted incredible, like fresh summer rain and thunderstorms. His whole body tingled, and it felt like sparks running through it, when Cas carded his fingers through his hair to hold him in place.

Dean started yanking the buttons of Cas’s shirt open as he succumbed to the kiss, to the whirlwind force that was an angel that confused Dean in every way imaginable.

Cas's hands slid down Dean's body, roughly opening Dean's jeans and stroking over Dean's cock over the material of his boxers. "I want you, Dean," he growled.

Dean nodded against his lips as he pulled his shirt off. “There’s probably something we can use in Bobby’s desk.”

"You mean something like this?" Cas asked as he held up a bottle of astroglide.

Dean didn’t want to know where he got that. He nodded and started shuffling down his pants. When they were at his knees, Dean turned around and braced his hands on the wall. “Prep me before you fuck me.”

He could feel Cas close behind him, his hot breath on his shoulder before the angel kissed his neck. A slick finger was pressed against his hole a second after he felt a strong hand spreading his ass cheeks. The sparks intensified when he circled his hole, spreading the lube. It was like every nerve ending was on fire with pleasure. "I won't hurt you," Cas whispered suddenly before his finger gently pushed into him.

Dean gasped, bracing his forehead against the wall as he felt Cas start to loosen him up. He quickly melted into the movements, the sensation of being breached for the first time. By the time Cas worked a third finger in, Dean was a mess with how good it felt. “Fuck…”

He suspected Cas was using his grace on him, because there was no way this should have gone so smoothly, or feel so incredible. "I'm going to take you now. Turn around," Cas commanded in a low voice, gently pulling out his fingers and leaving Dean feeling empty and wanting.

Dean kicked his pants the rest of the way off, and without hesitation, wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck. “We have to be quiet,” he whispered.

Cas grabbed him and pulled him up into his arms before he pushed Dean against the wall and pressed his palm over his mouth with an intense look. Dean could feel Cas guiding his cock to his hole before he gently pushed into him, his blue eyes never leaving Dean's.

Dean practically whimpered against the heated palm against his lips. He had never felt so full in his life, a good, dirty kind of full. He tightened his grip around Cas’s neck, and screwed his eyes shut with the sheer level of pleasure.

Cas set a deep and hard pace, all commanding and beautiful, strong and overwhelming. He could feel lips at his cheek. "Look at me, Dean."

Dean opened his eyes, gasping when an intense pleasure coursed through his nervous system as Cas’s cock dragged over his prostate. “Jesus,” he murmured, muffled by the angel’s palm.

There was a hint of amusement in Cas's lust filled eyes as he picked up the pace. "You feel so good, Dean," he whispered. "So good to me."

Dean nodded against his palm.  _ Kiss me,  _ he prayed.

Cas slowly dragged his fingers away from Dean's lips before he replaced them with his own, hungrily kissing him. There was a low and broken moan falling from Cas's lips the moment his tongue licked over Dean's. Cas lost his rhythm for a second before he fucked him even harder. The hand that had covered his mouth slipped between Dean’s head and the wall, probably so Dean wouldn’t get hurt.

Every moan that escaped was swallowed by Cas. Dean had never felt such unheeded pleasure. The animalistic need as he allowed an angel of the lord to fuck him against a wall, where they could be caught any moment. Dean’s balls began a tell-tale tightening. “I’m so close,” he gasped against Cas’s lips.

Cas groaned and softly bit Dean's lower lip. "I got you. Come, Dean."

Dean whimpered as he felt that wondrous sensation consume him. A pleasant warmth that fills you in a way that nothing else can. Dean shuddered with the force of his orgasm as it was wrenched from him by pleasure alone.

Cas kissed him through the pulses of pleasure, and he could feel him thrusting deep before he stilled his movement and groaned into his mouth. He pressed his forehead against Dean's, breathing hard before leaning back a little with parted lips and an awed expression. Like Dean had hung the moon or something. "Dean," he whispered, his eyes never leaving his.

Dean slipped one hand to cup his cheek as he drew him in for a more gentle kiss.

Cas answered in kind, letting his lips brush softly over Dean's as he slowly sat him down again. "Dean," He repeated quietly. "I... thank you."

Before Dean could reply, an unwelcome chuckle from the doorway made Dean tense.

“Why am I not surprised to find you like this,  _ Commander?”  _

It was Uriel.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

He had used his grace to dress himself and Dean again before he stepped in front of Dean in a defensive stance, his angel blade at the ready. “Is it you?” Castiel growled at Uriel. “Are you killing all the angels?”

Uriel let out a devious chuckle. “You really shouldn’t have told me your hiding place.”

Castiel gripped his blade harder. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because it’s time, Castiel. Time for us to make a paradise of this godforsaken planet.”

"You really want to raise Lucifer and destroy everything?" Castiel yelled. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What about our mission. To be humanity's guardian?"

Uriel scoffed. “These mud monkeys have ruined the gift our father has given them. Something must be done.”

“You’re wrong. Lucifer is the reason everything is ruined. And you want to raise him? Have you lost your mind?” Castiel growled as he reached behind him, making sure that Dean was safe.

“I want this to be over! And the only way that can happen is bringing on the apocalypse. Don’t you see, Castiel? Raising Lucifer is the only way our brother can take his rightful place at the forefront of the approaching war.” Uriel gave him a pointed look. “Heaven will win.”

“And you would destroy Earth for this war? Our mission is to protect humanity,” he growled. “I will stop you.” 

Uriel chuckled and withdrew his angel blade. “I’d like to see you try.”

Castiel lunged forward and went right for the attack. Uriel was a strong warrior and quick on his feet. Castiel struggled to keep his stance as their blades met and he was pushed backwards from the impact. Uriel punched him and used his grace to tear at his wings. He couldn't help but cry out when he felt his right wing break.

He could see Dean sneaking behind Uriel, and he reacted without thinking, tossing his blade to the hunter.

Dean caught it and quickly slammed it into Uriel’s side.

Uriel hissed and flung Dean against the wall, causing the hunter to fall unconscious. He removed the blade, his grace starting to leak out. “I’m going to destroy your human plaything while you watch, Castiel, before I finish breaking the seal.”

Castiel growled and pulled himself up, attacking Uriel, who had two blades now. He used his grace to go invisible for a moment to confuse Uriel before he kicked his knee, the crunch of the patella shattering echoing around them. Distraction enough to cause Uriel to drop one of the blades. 

Without hesitation, Castiel caught it and slammed forward, piercing Uriel's heart. Castiel cried out when Uriel's blade went through his shoulder at the same time. Uriel’s eyes flickered as the life force of his brother faded, and Castiel growled, "No one touches my human." 

Uriel's empty vessel fell to the ground, his wings now burned into Bobby's wooden floor and carpet. He scoffed and hobbled to Dean, kneeling beside him as he touched his face. "Dean?"

Dean gasped out as his eyelids fluttered open. The fear on his face disappeared when they made eye contact, morphing into a dopey smile. “Did we win?”

"Yes," Castiel replied weakly. He felt like he was on the verge of passing out. He gently cupped Dean's cheek. "Are you hurt?"

Dean moved to sit up. “‘Tis but a scratch,” he said in a very poor english accent.

Castiel rubbed his thumb over his cheek and concentrated on healing Dean. His head hurt after healing Dean, and he groaned and leaned closer to him, trying to stay conscious. Castiel’s wounds were bleeding all over his shirt, even dripping onto the carpet. "Thank you for helping me."

“Shit,” Dean breathed out, touching Castiel’s shoulder. “You’re hurt.”

Castiel nodded softly. "Yes, I can't... I can't heal myself."

“What can I do?” Dean asked as he pulled off his overshirt and held it to Cas’s wound.

"I just need some... rest. My grace is leaking from my shoulder... we need to close that wound. And my wing is broken," Castiel murmured tiredly.

Dean helped Castiel up. “Come on. I’ll stitch you up.”

Castiel leaned his weight against Dean. "Thank you. I'm sorry about... about... Gnn." The pain from his wing was unbearable, and he wondered what he should do about it. "Everything."

“You saved our asses, you’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” Dean helped him to the couch and sat him down. “I’m gonna grab the first aid kit.”

Castiel carefully unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, waiting for Dean to return. Maybe he could use a spell to subdue his grace, so his grace could heal faster and he wouldn't feel his wings. But it would leave him vulnerable... almost human.

When Dean returned, he dropped himself onto the couch next to Castiel. “Dude, he got you good.”

Castiel's gaze wandered to Uriel's dead body before he nodded softly. "He… he was a very strong angel." He carefully removed his hand from the wound on his shoulder, hissing when he could see his grace shining through the bloody mess. "I'm thinking of powering myself down after this. So my grace has time to heal and I won't feel my wings during that process. I would basically be human though. I won't have my powers."

“Human I know how to fix,” Dean said with a sweet smile.

Castiel mirrored the smile. "I'll wait for that until you’ve finished closing this wound." His worry returned immediately. "I won't be able to protect you as long as I'm vulnerable like this."

Dean chuckled. “I promise, I can hold my own in a fight.”

"I know that, Dean," Castiel replied softly. "You know that I have faith in you."

Dean gave him another small smile as he started threading the needle. “Fuck knows why, but I appreciate that, Cas.”

Castiel was glad that he didn’t feel much pain from the stitching. He could just focus on Dean and the concentrated way he worked. “I’ve never been close to being human. It will be a very new feeling for me.”

“I’ll watch over you,” he said with a smirk.

Castiel smiled at him, suddenly feeling warm all over. His heart was beating faster. “Thank you, Dean.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The ugly, paisley couch Dean found himself sprawled out on was the stuff of nightmares. He cradled his head in his hands as he leaned forward. Everything was a little foggy, in such a familiar way, that he didn’t really question it. He looked up when the door opened; Cas approached with a sweet, almost serene smile.

Dean reached his hand out to him. “Took you long enough,” he teased.

Cas took his hand with a soft smile. "I know for a fact that you didn't wait long." He growled as he pulled Dean closer and into a surprisingly soft kiss. "But I'll make it worth your wait."

Dean chuckled, the fog starting to clear up a little. “Put up or shut up, angel.” 

“Undress,” Cas commanded deeply. “I want to watch you.”

Without missing a beat, Dean jumped to his feet and started unbuttoning his shirt. “Angel want a strip tease?”

“Yes, do it slowly,” Cas replied as he sat down on the edge of the couch.

Dean chuckled and gently started swaying his hips as he got the last button open and carefully slid the shirt off his shoulders. “Love when you’re bossy.”

For just a moment, Dean could spot a soft smirk on Cas’s face before he donned a mask again. His eyes, though… there was still a glint of amusement. “I know.” He leaned forward and licked over his lips. “And I love when you’re obedient.”

And just because Dean could, he tossed the shirt in Cas’s face.

It fell in Cas’s lap, and the angel raised an eyebrow at him. “I also love your rebellious side.”

Dean chuckled as he slowly pulled his pants down, making it a point to wiggle his ass near Cas’s face.

He could feel Cas’s palm gently stroking over the skin before he slapped his ass. “Come here, Dean.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Dean got rid of the rest of his clothes and crawled into his lap. “Hey, baby,” he murmured before he drew him in for a kiss.

Cas’s strong hands wandered down his back, massaging his muscles before he reached his ass and squeezed it. “I want you,” he growled.

Dean chuckled as he slipped his hand between them, cupping Cas’s impressive erection. “I couldn’t tell,” he murmured as he quickly unzipped Cas’s pants and pulled his cock out, stroking it as he guided him to his hole. There was a wash of warmth as Cas used his grace on Dean.

“I guess I’ll have to show you then,” Cas growled before he pushed into him.

Dean cried out as he braced his hands on Cas’s shoulders, and met the angel’s thrusts. “Fuck, babe…”

Cas pressed his forehead to Dean's with a low groan, his thrusts into Dean quickly turning harder and faster. "Dean." The way Cas uttered his name sounded incredibly sinful. "I love you."

Dean let out a soft gasp as he started riding Cas faster. Cas had never said those words before, real or in his imagination. “You mean it?”

Cas nodded, giving him another sinful look. “Yes. You’ve changed me.”

“Fuck,” Dean groaned, this was like a dream… He drew back for a moment, brows furrowed in bemusement. “Am I dreaming again?”

Cas looked up at him in surprise. "No," he replied simply. 

Dean let out a relieved laugh before he murmured, “Thank fuck,” and drew him in for a grateful kiss. 

He could feel Cas smile against his lips as he reciprocated the kiss. The same smile greeted him when he leaned back to look at Dean in earnest. "I love you, Dean Winchester," he repeated softly. "This is not a dream."

“I, uh… I love you too, Cas.” And Dean was always amazed at how easily those words came out for the man… the angel, he somehow fell in love with. An angel that changed Dean’s life for the better, in every way imaginable. Cas changed him too.

Before he could say anything else, the door opened and the sound of a loud cry distracted both of them. Dean turned and found his brother, clutching at his eyes as he screamed, “You have your own room!”

Cas turned around with a raised eyebrow before sighing and looking back at Dean. "Having sex in a dream had some advantages."

Dean chuckled and drew him in for a kiss. “Get out, Sammy. We ain’t even close to done.”

Sam left, but with a protest and grumbling something about brain bleach. Dean's attention was quickly diverted though, because Cas was currently marking his throat with a hickey, softly rocking his cock into him.

“Fuck me against the wall again, angel,” Dean begged as he wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck.

Cas gathered him up into his arms as if he weighed nothing before he carried him over to the wall with soft groans. Every step felt like Cas’s cock was pushing deeper into Dean. He put his hand between the back of Dean’s head and the wall, the other holding him at his hips as he started to pound into him. “Dean...” He drew him into a surprisingly needy, but still soft kiss. “I can’t wait to come in you.”

Dean nodded against his lips. “Yes, fill me, baby…”

An ardent growl escaped Cas's lips as he pulled him closer and fucked him harder. "Mine," he whispered as he softly bit Dean's lower lip.

Dean gasped out, that beautifully familiar coil tightening, making his vision go blurry. “I’m gonna come…”

“Yes.” Cas softly bit at the skin beneath his ear. “Come. Show me how you come.”

Dean gripped his cock and pumped himself to completion as Cas pummeled his prostate. “Fuck, fuck…”

Cas watched him with parted lips and  _ fuck, _ it was probably the hottest thing ever.

The pleasure was merging with discomfort from overstimulation, but in that torturously good way. “Come in me, babe. Claim me,” he urged, praying dirty images to his boyfriend to tip him over the edge.

Cas squeezed his eyes shut and came with a low moan, and Dean's name on his lips. He rocked into him a few more times before he pulled Dean into a deep kiss. "Mine, my Dean," he murmured softly.

Dean pulled up his shirt sleeve to show him the handprint. “I know.”

Cas's gaze wandered to the handprint and he smiled before he pressed his fingers exactly over the mark. It tingled. "I didn't do it on purpose, but... I'm not sorry it happened."

Dean smiled. “Neither am I.”

Cas looked up at him, his blue eyes intense, like he was looking right into Dean’s soul. “I’m glad.” He slowly carried Dean over to the couch and sat down with him, his arms still around him to hold him close. “I don’t know how to thank you. I feel grateful in so many ways.”

“For coming in me?”

Cas grinned brightly at that. “No… for… being with me. For showing me what love feels like.”

Dean returned the grin and pressed a kiss to his lips. “You make me happy.”

The smile on Cas’s face stayed as he softly kissed him back. “That’s all I want,” he murmured.

The sort of confession and revelations in the past few minutes filled Dean with an amorous need. But it could have just been the angel himself. Dean leaned in and whispered, “Get me hard again, angel. I think we should fuck in Sam’s bed.”

Cas gave him a wide eyed look. “I don’t think that is a good idea, Dean. We shouldn’t aggravate your brother further.”

Dean chuckled and gently slipped off of Cas’s lap, the emptiness compounded by the way Cas’s come trickled down his legs. “Please?” he asked as he held his hand out to the angel.

Cas gave him a rueful look before he took Dean's hand. "You know I can't say no to you."

Dean resisted the urge to smirk about that as he pulled his angel to the room Sammy got in the weird little bed and breakfast they found for this case. “If you’re nice, I’ll even let you tie me up.”

“I’m always nice,” Cas replied in earnest.

Dean quirked his brow. “We both know that ain’t true,” he said as he wiggled his ass at Cas.

Cas stroked his palms over Dean’s ass. “We could pretend, for the sake of you getting tied up.”

Dean nodded. “I like the sound of that.”

Cas grabbed his tie, that was still hanging loosely around his neck before he walked up to Dean and pushed him down on the bed. “Lift your arms over your head,” he ordered, the soft material of the tie stroking over Dean’s chest. 

Dean readily lifted his arms up. “Love seeing you like this.”

"Like what?" Cas asked as he tied Dean's wrists to the head of the bed with his tie. It was a hard knot. Dean doubted he could easily get out of it.

“Take-charge and commanding,” he gasped out, his cock waking back up without Cas’s mojo.

Cas tilted his head slightly. "I like to take care of you," he stated before he touched Dean's cock. It grew instantly rock hard, and Dean was sure that Cas had cheated.

“Fuck…” Dean arched up against his touch.

"Spread your legs for me, Dean. I want to see you," Cas commanded, the fingers of his other hand tracing lines on Dean's chest, leaving a tingling in their wake.

Dean obediently spread his legs and arched his back. “I need you, Cas.”

Cas kneeled in between his legs and spread his cheeks with his fingers, humming in contentment before he fingered Dean’s hole. “You’re still wet from me.”

Dean groaned outright. “You filled me good, angel.”

He felt the head of Cas’s erection pushing against his hole. “I think you’re prepared enough for me.”

“Please, Cas,” Dean begged. 

“Please what?” Cas asked, teasing him a little more.

“Please fuck me,” Dean outright groaned as he tried to get Cas to push in deeper.

Cas grabbed Dean's hips on both sides and slammed in, fully seated base to tip. 

Dean gasped out, “Cas!” as he just melted into his boyfriend’s movements.

Cas wasn't careful or considerate. He started fucking him at a hard and unrelenting pace, no sign of tiring. His gaze was trained on Dean, hyper focused blue eyes that seemed to look directly into Dean's soul.

It was torturously good. It was also a little crazy that the best sex he had in years was with an angel of the lord. Dean wrapped his legs around Cas’s hips and just let the angel use him. “Fuck, fuck…”

"Dean, I can do this as long as you want," Cas groaned as he fucked him even faster, one hand stroking over Dean's torso, flicking his nipple.

That was the best part, and while it was tempting to fuck for hours on end… “Sammy’ll probably be back soon. Fuck me fast, angel. Make us both come again.”

"Of course, Dean," Cas replied in a deep voice, lifting Dean’s hips higher so he could fuck him deeper. Sparks were coursing through his entire body, the lust and pleasure was almost unbearable. In a good way.

“Oh, fuck…” Dean groaned as Cas basically pummeled his prostate. “I’m gonna… fuck, fuck…”

"Come, Dean. Show me how you come untouched," Cas growled, fucking him even deeper, even harder.

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck… _ Between the filthy words, the constant pressure on his prostate, and the weird desire to do as his boyfriend told him to, when that familiar tightening pushed him close to the edge, he knew one thing would tip him over. “Kiss me.”

There was a soft smile on Cas's face. A smile that lit up his entire expression. His angel leaned forward and drew him into a surprisingly loving and gentle kiss.

Dean gasped at the compounding sensations and as he lost himself in the kiss, he came, untouched, all over their stomachs and chests.

Cas moaned into the kiss and Dean could feel from the way Cas’s cock twitched, the tell-tale signs of him coming inside of Dean. The way his hips rocked softly against Dean as they slowly returned to the here and now.

Dean let out a soft, amazed laugh. “Damn.”

Cas leaned back to give him a confused look. "What is so funny?"

“Nothin’, just… you fucked my brains out.”

Cas still looked confused before it turned into a smile, like he had finally understood what Dean was talking about. "Feeling like this... makes me very happy too. Especially watching you."

Dean yanked at the tie around his wrists. “I can tell.” He waggled his eyebrows before he nodded up at his restraints.

“Do you want me to free you again?” Cas asked with a sassy grin Dean had never seen before on the angel’s lips. Cas was clearly amused about the situation.

Dean chuckled. “Unless you want to explain to Sam why I’m tied to his bed, exposed, your come leaking out of me.”

Cas's eyes turned darker, and for a moment he seemed to think it over before he replied, "You make a good point." Cas freed Dean's wrists before he touched him and cleaned him up. "Better?"

Without missing a beat, he drew Cas in for a surprisingly tender kiss. As he drew back, he gently caressed Cas’s cheek and smiled, looking the beautiful face over, trying to imprint it into his memory. “Much.”

Cas carded his fingers through Dean's hair, his blue eyes reflecting everything Dean was feeling in this moment. "You look tired."

“You did fuck my brains out,” he said with a soft laugh, “twice.”

There was a shy smile on the angel's lips before he pushed Dean backwards on the bed to lie down, pulling him into a cozy hug. "Sleep, Dean. So we can do this again when you wake up."

Dean smiled and pressed a kiss to Cas’s lips. “You’re too good to me.”

Cas pressed his lips against him a little firmer before he leaned back to look at him. "I want to make you happy. Sleep now. I'll watch over you."

Dean couldn’t help the contented sigh as he felt himself start to relax. It was crazy how happy he already was. Just as he was about to drift off, knowing Cas would likely be there to meet him in whatever dream world he escaped to, he startled with the door slamming open.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Sam cried out, making even Cas startle.

_ Shit. _ Dean cleared his throat and gave him a sheepish smile. “Uh, we, uh… we thought this was our room?”

Cas raised his eyebrow at Dean for the obvious lie. His angel still had a lot to learn.

"Get out!" Sam yelled, "And take the sheets with you! Seriously, Dean!"

Dean chuckled and nodded for Cas to get up with him, not bothering to cover himself up as he started untucking the sheets. As Cas leaned over to help him, they shared a smile when their hands touched while pulling the sheets together.

He looked forward to a future that would probably look like this.

“Get out, guys!”

**11 Years Later**

Dean drew Cas’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles before grabbing the beer and nodding it in Jack’s direction. “And that, my friend, is why Sammy sleeps at the other end of the bunker.”

Jack looked between the two of them with a confused head tilt. "I only wanted the keys to the truck. Not how you met my father."

**The End**


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